Doopity Do

My sister called me at 3:48 am . I was sleeping and grumbled, “We were supposed to be out the door by 3:30 . We’re going to be too late now.” I pulled myself out of bed anyway and kissed Steve’s cheek before throwing on clothes and heading out the door just as my mom and sister pulled up. I hopped in the car and off we went. To Best Buy. Pardon my naïve behavior, and I will pause for a moment while you cease your laughing. It was my first time. I didn’t know that you are supposed to miss your Thanksgiving dinner and head instead to the electronics store to line up 15 hours in advance to save $500. It should be banned. Yes, I was surprised by the line that wrapped completely around the store and straight on till morning.

“I, for one, am not getting out in this cold and waiting in that line for something that is sold out before the store opens. No thank you. I don’t want a cheap 32” plasma all that bad.”

My sister decided that it wasn’t worth waiting in line either and kissed her dreams of a bargain laptop goodbye. And my mom sighed. She was just along for the ride, dear heart.

We did drive up to Alderwood to check out the line there and after shuddering uncontrollably at the monstrosity of the thing, by the time we got back to Northgate it was just about time for Best Buy to open. We parked, sat in the car until 5:05 and then waltzed into the store. Once inside we encountered chaos and the type of people that get in line for a TV 15 hours before a store opens and the type of people who join them, uh that’d be me. As the store surged with shoppers, I felt myself losing my sanity. And the employee with the bobbing purple balloons – ooh I wanted to get a beebee gun and shot them all down. He marked the end of the line and he was no where near the front of the store and the gaggle of shoppers streaming before him grew and grew. And then my head exploded.

After picking up the pieces of my brain and shards of skull that had gotten lodged in the cardboard plasma TV box held proudly by a little piglet, I went back to my mom’s car and waited until 6 am , which was when Target opened. Target was much better – a dream compared to the madness of Best Buy. I snatched myself a wee 19” LCD TV and all the Harry Potter TVs and all was right with the world again. And….no lines. It was amazing. I love Target. Target is the best. Go Target.

By the end of Black Friday, I had a TV, 6 DVDs, two pairs of earrings, a necklace, two pairs of jeans, three pairs of high heels, oh yeah baby, four sweaters, one measly pair of slacks (the world was experiencing a shortage on 2 Longs, damn the world) and a partridge in a pear tree. Yeah that’s right. All for me. ME me me. All you bloggers bragging about finishing your Christmas shopping – that could have, should have, would have, been me.

Except, you know, how when you have a really crappy year and you give and give and give, then realize your clothes are too big because the stress made you lose weight again and if you don’t treat yourself soon that Oompa Loompa penguin pant lady feeling is never going away.